Failed

Well that didn’t work. I took 14 paracetamol and nothing. Nothing happened. I wasn’t even sick. Thats how pathetic I am. I can’t even do that job right and proper. I’m just wasting my life. I really am. 

When will something right happen. When will something go my way. I’ve had a very tough hard day today. I’m feeling so down and so low. I feel rubbish. I feel sick of feeling like this. It’s not fair on my family I don’t like being like this I don’t like feeling like this. I don’t choose to feel like this. I don’t. It just happens. I just feel so low. So lost. So lonely. When will it change. When will it turn around. When will something go right. When will something good happen. 

Today all I’ve had all day is staff on my back. I wasn’t allowed out by myself I wasn’t allowed to eat by myself. What they don’t realise is by doing all of hag it actually makes me feel worse. I’m in the ward where we have more freedom yet there taking it away from me. Today is the lowest I’ve felt in a long time. So alone. So lost. I just want to give up. I’m not living in mereley surviving. It’s not worth the agro. The hassle. It’s really not.