Hello

So I haven’t blogged in a while. I feel I’ve neglected you all but here’s an update…

Anorexia wise things are going ok. I still face obstacles and body image is just horrendous these days. I go days without washing as I can’t bear myself naked and can’t remember the last time I looked in mirror. But I can deal with that. Just about. I think I may be getting discharged from my eating disorder care coordinator too.

Depression wise I’m bumbling along. For health reason my meds that I’ve been on for two years have been stopped and I’m now on different medication. So it’s been quite hard. I’ve had really bad days. But I have to say overall I am surprising myself. I’m getting up, getting dressed and going to work or baking cakes. Whatever it is to keep me busy. Yes work. I have a job. It’s part time but I also just got offered a new full time one 🙂

And last but not least. Family wise. Well it’s a bit half and half. Me and parents we are great. We’re talking more. And I’m trying to spend a bit more time with them. But brother wise it’s not so great. We’ve had a tough month or so of arguing and not talking. And I thought we had cleared it all. I thought we were getting back to normal. But we’re not. I’m still being ignored. And I’m still feeling like I don’t exist. I’m making the effort but it’s not made back. It’s so hard. We used to be so close but now there just feels like this gap has come between us that maybe isn’t bridgeable. I hope it is. And I hoped the news we shared last week would help. But it hasn’t. It seems to have driven the wedge in further.

So all in all. I’m ok. I spend most of days with my soulmate planning for the future. Yes we’ve had our moments this past month but we’ve been under a lot of stress and tiredness too. So I don’t hold it against us. We move on. We make sure we spend days together not just an hour. We’re making time for us. Anorexia is slowing becoming less and less and my depression is still there, big time, but I’m managing to stay a float most days.