So today I sat at the dinner table and cried. Not beacaue of the food but beacaue the ingredients I had asked for, for my baking session today weren’t in. How pathetic. A grown woman reduced to tears over the fact they didn’t stock condensed milk for me to bake with. How utterly pathetic.
Every little thing is getting to me. I got very anxious in my one to one, a parcel that had been delivered yesterday couldn’t be found, I’m stressed out over how I’m doing and what to ask for in ward round. I need to make an important phone call. But a. It’s finding the time. And b. It’s finding somewhere with enough signal.
All of these are stupid little things and there really getting to me. That and things from yesterday too. Being told I’ve used someone and walked all over them to stressing over a duvet cover. It’s only Tuesday and I’m a mess already. I want to ask for transition but not sure I’m ready buf then if I don’t ask I don’t think I’m pushing myself enough.
There are so many things in my head it might explode. Words people say hurt, things not going right get to me, my weight and body imagine annoy me and make me feel ugly. It’s never ending.