It would be wrong not to blog on a day like today. Today is a momentous day. Today is the royal wedding. And watching it, watching Megan and Harry look at each other, so in love, is lovely but also god damn hard!! Part of me is jealous. Is envious. Part of me doesn’t like it. Part of me longs for a love like they have. Instead I sit here alone in my favourite coffee shop writing how I’m so alone and so desperate for a love I have just witnessed. Longing for it. Wanting it more than anything but being miles away from it. It’s not even on the cards. My love life is non existent. It’s just me myself and I. I doubt it will ever happen. I doubt I’ll ever feel the love that I have just seen. I’m damaged goods. I’m faulty. No one would love me. Everyone else is better than me. Everyone else is normal or even better than normal. I’m faulty and hate myself. If I hate myself how can I expect someone else to love me. I can’t can I. Roll on tonight where I go out and get legless. Then all my problems vanish. The drunk feeling takes over. It’s addictive. I crave it. Like I crave love. Friendship. Attention. How bad is it that I admit I crave attention. I’m desperate for people to notice me. To have what others have. I’m in a bit of a mess. Tonight can’t come soon enough.