Ana and work 

Well ana loves my new job. Bloody loves it!! 8 hours long, on my feet all day, and the best bit….I don’t eat a thing all day. Today I survived on one sugar free can of red bull and one bottle of Pepsi max. That was it. No food until dinner time and then I only had soup. She’s laughing. She’s got this in the bag. She’s loving it! It’s so hard not to listen to ana when it’s so easy to skip meals and not eat. It’s so hard to ignore her! I’m trying to, I’m trying to ignore her, taking food with me but it doesn’t seem to be working. I don’t seem to be able to hush her and block her out. Today was great. I had such a good first day but things should have been different. I should be coming home to my partner and celebrating Instead I’m left just thinking of him. Missing him. But I’m sick of being “to blame” I’m sick of being made to feel guilty I’m sick of being made out as the bad one. It’s not true and not fair. So as much as it hurts now and as much as a part of me misses him I’ll keep telling myself to get over it and day by day it will become easier. I’m not being held responsible I’m not being guilt tripped. Nothing is ruining my good day. I had such a great day at work today. I loved it. I was in my element. I’m not letting someone ruin that 

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