All I want to do is not exist. I’ve had enough I really have. As I write this all thats on my mind is ending it. I’ve barely eaten all day, well apart from pick and mix sweets, it’s 5pm and I’ve drunk two drinks already, with another poured. I feel fat. Disgusting. Alone. I feel I am to blame. I feel i deserve this. This is all my fault. I bought it all on. I’m to blame. I have an appointment tomorrow with the psychologists. I have the Crisis number, the safer places number and the samaratains Number. My care co is worried about me. She’s phoned my brother. And is making him phone me tonight. She’s told me to go to a and e if I don’t feel safe. But I won’t. If I don’t feel safe I don’t feel safe. I don’t want help. I just want it all to end. It has to. I’ve had enough of life I really have.