I can’t remember the last time I didn’t have a drink. I can’t remember the last day I didn’t turn to alcohol. I can’t remember it. As far as I look back each day involved having a drink. I can’t remember a day without drink. That’s how much I’m struggling lately and that’s also what half my weight gain is. Not food. But alcohol. I’m aware of that but I cant stop. I see the rolls my stomach now has but still turn to a glass. Or two. Or three. I know that’s what’s making me piling the pounds on. I know it’s more alch than drink. But I can’t stop. I crave it. The feeling it gives me. I have to have it. I hide the bottle away but always go and find it. I hide it in my overnight bag when I stay at my partners. I use mouth wash or chewing gum to hide the smell. I have a problem. One of many. And don’t know what to do about it.