Ok. So it’s not going to be as easy as I thought. I knew it wouldn’t be simple. I knew I would have tough times. But really it’s going to be so bloody hard. I just ate one chocolate. One chocolate. That was all. And how do I feel now? Disgusting. Fat. Ugly. Hideous. Grotesque. Disgraceful. Ashamed. Horrible. Obese. Awful. All over one chocolate. I instantly tried to spit it out. To get it out of my system. I already know I’m going to skip lunch. And have the lightest dinner possible. Just soup. Nothing else. This is going to be hard! So very hard. Today I don’t know if I’ve got the strength. If I can do this. I really don’t know. Today I wish my life was over. I can’t go on living like this. Feeling like this. After every mouthful feeling disgusting. Thinking about food all day everyday. To the extent it drives you mad. Sucking in my now massive stomach. Letting my boyfriend down. Ruining my life. I can’t continue like this 

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