I don’t know what to do. I’mStuck. I’m clueless. So many options. Too much to choose from. Some scary. Some “safe” to be honest I think I know what I need to do. I’m just scared.
Edict (eating school) in other words day patient. Isn’t working. In over two months I’ve got nowhere. I’ve actually lost weight. I weigh less that what I did when I started here. How’s that possible? And mentally. Well nothing is changing. Here they don’t do one to ones. Though that’s what I really need. Here they “don’t have time”. Here they do group therapy but half the groups aren’t even eating disorder based or even mental health based. There pointless. I’ve just spent an hour debating gender and what society thinks. How’s that any help!? It doesn’t benefit me At all. It doesn’t help. It doesn’t help make sense of all the shit that’s in my head. I think I need to leave but I’m scared. I’m scared about work. About what I’ll do. I’m scared about life. I’m scared about eating. Here is a “safe” place. Life seems easy. I come in 8:30-4 go home, gym and watch tv. Then it’s bed. Simple. Easy. I don’t know what to do. I wish I knew what was next. What to do. What the future brings. I wish it was simple