Challenges 

So it’s only Tuesday and I’ve already had a few challenges. Yesterday was a massive challenge. I’d joined the gym and felt the urge to go. So I did. But not only did I go the gym I got changed into a bikini and stepped in the swimming pool. I haven’t been that uncovered for ages. It meant A) my stomach which is massive was showing and it meant B) my stomach that is covered in scars was showing. This was a massive achievement to get changed into my bikini. Worried all eyes would be on me. On how massive my stomach was. On the scars. On how ugly I am. But I did it! Challenge 1. Done. Challenge 2 is gonna be the killer though. To cut a long story short basically at day patient care we have to a meal out every other week and this week is weatherspoons the place that has calories next to literally everything in the menu. My worst nightmare. I’m terrified. I was tempted to call in sick. But haven’t. That’s already a massive achievement. I don’t think any one fully understands just how much I’m dreading this. Just writing this is getting me anxious. I know I won’t go for something I want u know I’ll go for the thing with the least calories. I won’t enjoy it. I’ll hate it. It’s stupid. I have to pay for a dinner I’m already going to hate and is going to be tourtorus. I feel clamy and sick just thinking about it! I’ll report back later! 

2 thoughts on “Challenges 

  1. I can understand the feeling of anxiety and dread into a situation, I have social anxiety, so college next week is the same to me, my stomach turns every time I think about it. But we can make it! You already did some GREAT progress, be proud of yourself! ❤

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  2. Don’t look at the achievements as challenges, for what you did showing your body, is simply normal and whether how your image shows, we all are beautiful in our own ways, you aren’t ugly. No body is ugly. Be proud of yourself for making that move, something you where self conscious off. As for your meal, don’t worry about those around you, don’t let others rule what you eat and look at it as another achievement and not a challenge and remember whoever you are out with may have their own achievements and maybe be scared too. Just be you, you might even inspire someone to pick something they want themselves. A tip: I have a squint and hated the fact that people use to point it out when in photos or company, so now when I’m getting a photo; I make a joke about my squint “now hey, no close ups and try not to get my squint in”. If I make a joke or comment on my squint first, I don’t mind other people making comment, however when someone makes that comment or joke first. It hurts me. Just be brave and more importantly, be yourself… a quote I like to use often and you may or may not agree “if you can’t look after yourself, you can’t look out for someone else” and in different situations I change the words I’m hope to inspire myself. My advice to you now: don’t change, don’t worry, smile and see the positives you have and turn those negative nerves into excitement. – The Doors To Wisdom

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