My plan 

I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of ana controlling my life. I’ve had enough of wasting my life. I’ve not working. Of not eating. Of not living. I’ve had enough. I’m done. Today I came up with a plan. I don’t know if it will work. Or if I’ll be allowed and my support will let me. But today I came up with the plan and I’m going to see what she says. Here it is:So I never will be happy with my weight. I’m never going to like my body. I’m always going to be on the underweight side of things. My bmi will always be lower than average. That’s just the fact. That’s just the way it is. I’m tall. Im small boned. I’m naturally slim. I’m going to suggest. And this is the hard bit. That I put 3.5kg on. Yep you heard me. I’m going to suggest I put weight on. This will bring me to 50kg. And when I hit this I’m going to suggest I maintain. I maintain that weight and live at that weight. Yes technically it’s still underweight. But I will be able to bare this weight more easily than if I go to be a day patient and pile the pounds on. I’m going to suggest this tomorrow and hopefully avoid being a day patient. It’s time I live. It’s time I get on with things. It’s time things changed. It’s time I start to live the life I’m meant to. I wasn’t born to waste a life I was born for a reason. Yes I’m yet to find that reason. Yes this is me on a positive day. But it’s time something changed. 

3 thoughts on “My plan 

  1. I haven’t converted that to lbs but, that’s a good idea. Maybe in the long; term you won’t focus so much on#’s but on life and how you feel about yourself. When you start living outside the hospital environment: you may just enjoy being with others. You never know.

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