My depression is back. And with a bang. No one can understand how debilitating this is unless they’ve had it before. This morning I couldn’t even get out of bed. I had no motivation to get dressed yet alone up and out of bed. My depression massively affects my anorexia. Taking away all motivation to eat. It’s makes me feel worthless. Helpless. Alone. Lost. It makes me confused and upset. It ruins days upon days. Takes life away from me. I’m not living. I’m merely existing. And that’s as a result of this. I’ve had it for several years now. But it seems to be getting worse. The suicidal thoughts are still there. Every waking minute of every day. I’m 28 and I’ve had enough of life. This isn’t just a phase. I’m not just simply fed up. I’m depressed. I’ve never felt so low. It’s all consuming. It’s ruining my life. 

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