Today 

So today’s been a bit of a day. I had the police wake me up at 7:30 as they had a call concerned for my welfare. I’m not at all annoyed that someone got in touch with them. To me it just shows they care. Which is lovely. I was Strangely touched. Even if it did mean an awkward conversation with my dad. I then went to work and they told me to go away for a couple of weeks. Come back when I’m ready and start part time. As I’m clearly not ready for full time. This upset me and I don’t really know what to do. To stick it out to find somewhere else to do part time. I’m no sure at all. Then there’s my food intake. Again I haven’t eaten for 24 hours. I only eat once a day a 6pm and that’s something under 300 calories. I’m not doing very well food wise at all. So all In all its been a pretty rubbish day. More Tears. More restricting. More pain. More suicidal thoughts. I’m not coping with life very well at the moment. The thoughts are always there. I’m not going to act on them but there still there. When will it go away. When will I start to feel better. When?! 

5 thoughts on “Today 

  1. Do you live alone? If so, maybe think of visiting someone? I broke down last year and I think it was worse because I was alone a lot and our minds can be a dark abyss when we are at our lows. A break from work is great but could be worse if you are home alone.

    Hang in there, it does get better, even though right now it may not seem like it.

    Liked by 1 person

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