Unless you’ve truly experienced loneliness you can’t imagine what it’s like. You can’t imagine what it’s like to be on your own. To sit there and have no one. And yes. I know I have my family. I have a Mum and Dad who care about me and a lovely brother and sister in law. But apart from them it’s just me. I feel like can’t keep bothering them as they have there own lives. So I lay there. Nearly all day. In my hospital bed in hospital desperate for someone to talk to. I’m so desperate it’s awful. I lay there scrolling through dating sites. Messaging random guys as I’m so alone. Striking up conversations which go nowhere but just keep me busy. Keeps me occupied. I feel so alone. Like if I died no one would notice. That’s how alone I feel. I feel like no one would see. No one would care. If the fire alarm went off and I was stuck in the building no one would notice I was still stuck in there. I have moments in the day when I have stuff I want to talk about but no one to talk to so I sit talking to myself. The only company I have is me. This weekend has been horrendous. All my family have been busy so it’s just been me. The days have dragged. My mood has dropped. I’ve had no one. I wouldn’t wish lonliness on anyone. It’s such a horrible feeling. It’s one of the worst. I long to speak to someone. I long to have that someone special. Seeing photos of loved up people, groups of friends, babies, engagement photos, new houses, people making memories, I see it all. Then there’s me. Just me. I’m the outsider looking in on everyone’s life. And as well as being lonely. I’m now awfully jealous. Jealous of everyone’s lives. The pictures the paint. The stories they tell. The company they have the memories they make. I’m jealous of them all. I’m 27. Jealous envious lost and alone. It’s not a life worth living in purely here for the sake of my family. If I didn’t have them I’d have killed myself by now. There the only reason I’m still alive.