100 miles an hour 

Today I can’t stop. Not even for breath. I’m so anxious. So stressed. So busy. I just can’t seem to switch off. It’s like my head and my heart are going at 100 miles per hour. 

I had my ward round today and found out I have to have at least 4 sessions of ect and then I might have to have more. I explained to them how scary it was losing my memory and to know I’ve got to go through that at least 3 more times is terrifying. I think I’ll be even more scared next time. Which is Friday. Than I was my first time. It’s horrendous. You can’t imagine losing your memory until you’ve lost it. I had it Tuesday and Mondays memory is hazing and Tuesday I barely remember. I worry the more I’ll have it the more I’ll forget! I think that’s partly why I’m keeping busy as if I don’t I just sit and think about ect. And it’s terrifying. 

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