So today I wrote my “just in case” letter. For those of you wondering what this is or what it means. It means I wrote a letter just in case I killed myself. That’s how low I’ve felt today. The thoughts have been popping in this week and they were particularly strong this mornjng. I sat there in group thinking how I would do it rather than paying attention to the actual group.
I’ve cried more than I’ve smiled today. I’m struggling to see the punt in continuing. I feel I’ve been used I feel fat. I detest myself. I feel so fed up. I hate that I’m wasting my life. I’m stuck in here watching everyone live there lives and it’s just passing me by. I’ve really struggled today. But I’m still here to tell the tale.