Why

So yesterday I had a second date with a guy and it was great. We chatted for ages. I told him all about me and my issues. And he asked why does it matter what I look like. Good question. I couldn’t answer it. Why does it matter? I don’t even know. Why am I bothered by my thigh size. The size of my stomach. The number on clothes. Why? I don’t know. But I am. 

He asked why I had this and how I got it. I don’t know that answer either. Why? Why do have a problem with food? Why do I count calories? Why do I ruminate over everything I eat? Why do I feel bad when I eat? Why do I take laxatives. I don’t know. I don’t know where this came from I dont know why I have it. 

Why why why why why. Why me? Why this? Why? THats the question and I don’t know the answer 

6 thoughts on “Why

  1. I had the same conversation with my friend the other day…he doesn’t understand my disordered behavior and I tried to explain to him that I didn’t either. Life is hard right now but it can get better, try not to be too hard on yourself. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s