So yesterday I had a second date with a guy and it was great. We chatted for ages. I told him all about me and my issues. And he asked why does it matter what I look like. Good question. I couldn’t answer it. Why does it matter? I don’t even know. Why am I bothered by my thigh size. The size of my stomach. The number on clothes. Why? I don’t know. But I am.
He asked why I had this and how I got it. I don’t know that answer either. Why? Why do have a problem with food? Why do I count calories? Why do I ruminate over everything I eat? Why do I feel bad when I eat? Why do I take laxatives. I don’t know. I don’t know where this came from I dont know why I have it.
Why why why why why. Why me? Why this? Why? THats the question and I don’t know the answer