I don’t understand 

So I had my cpa meeting today and it didn’t go well. They won’t discharge me till January. Which means Christmas here and likely my birthday too. This bothers me but not as much as the weight gain. 

I don’t understand why I’m here. People that come and visit me and other patients must look at me and wonder why I am here. I’m like a giant compared to other people. I’m massive. And yet they still want me to gain more weight. I don’t understand.

They say I still need to gain 7kg and stay here whilst I do two weeks on maintenance. There not lettin me leave till my bmi is in the healthy range. But I don’t care about my bmi the weight I’m at now is horrific. I’m massive. If I put on more weight I’m going to explode! Im literally going to be the size of a whale. I don’t understand why hey want me to put more weight on. The more weight I put on the more I’m just going to restrict. I don’t understand why they can’t see that and why there not listening to me! 

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