I feel like a robot. I feel my life (well not really a life) is so mundane, repetive and robotic. I’m fed up of it. I feel I’m constantly being fed food and medication and that’s it. I don’t feel there’s much help at all for my mental state. I’m not coping well with the weight gain at all. I’m so fat. I’ve grown so much. Too much. It’s horrendous.
I feel like I’m just eating, sleeping, in supervison or eating again. I’m sick of it. It’s meals supervision. Meals. Supervison. Meals supervison. It’s the same every day. It’s not a life at all. I’m sick to death of it. I’m so fed up. I’ve been thinking about discharging myself but for what. I don’t have a life waiting for me. I have to create one and I don’t know how to. And that’s scary as fuck. So meanwhile I’ll be stuck in here. Stuck being a robot and treated like a kid. Stuck feeling guilty and fat. Just stuck.
I hate it.