I’ve always felt like I’ve been left behind. The one that’s forgotten about. The one know one notices. Partly because I’ve always felt my parents favoured my brother, partly. To do with friendships and lack of them. Or the Ines I had leaving me out and cutting me out of there life’s. Dropping me and forgetting about me. Always cancelling on me always leaving me out.
And to this day I still feel left behind. Fiends just drop me and forget about me. They no longer include me. I text them and they don’t reply. They don’t message me. I’m just cast aside. Everyone I know is either pregnant, engaged or getting a house together. And I’m stuck in hospital all because I couldn’t do a basic function and eat. It’s pathetic. I’m a pathetic ezcuSe of a human being who is now getting fat. I have rolls my belly pertudes and apart from my amazing brother and sister in law and my one true friend I’m alone and forgotten about. I have no idea what life is. I merely exist. And right now I’m struggling to see why I exist. What is the point.
Anorexia gave me purpose. It gave me a reason it made me feel good at something now that’s going it’s taking away everything and I feel lost. Totally lost and I don’t know where to go or what to do.