Sorry I’ve been quiet on here. Had a crap week. And feeling crap now.
I don’t know who I can turn to and who I can tell stuff to. I can’t tell staff as they will take away my leave and watch me one to one. My brother and sister and law have been amazing but I already feel like a massive burden on them. So I can’t keep shedding all my shit on to them.
But today I cut myself again. I said yesterday I would stop but I read something and it made me hate myself even more than I do. And I ran to the bathroom. Picked up the razor and didn’t stop till I saw blood. It’s what I deserve I deserve the pain. The sting. There’s something soothing about seeing the blood. How fucked up is that. But there only superficial cuts. No damage just skin cuts nothing else. I’m not doing it to die I’m just doing it to punish myself. I hate mysel and after reading what I read I hate myself even more.
Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can break you!!
Today can fuck off. My menu choice is crap. I failed to exercise in this half hour. So only done 100 sit ups so far. I should exercise every time I get to my room but today I just sat cut and cried. And cried.
There’s still time to exercise and I’ll my my walk a fast Walk
Snacks being called so must dash