So just a little update guys:
They have a New bed for me. On Wednesday I’m off to my new hospital. It’s apparently more hospital like and more firmer. My support worker thinks this is what I need. And if I’m Honest me too. At the moment I’m Feeling ok about it. My support worker made it clear if I don’t go I’ll have to have the mental health assessment and will be sectioned. I walked in yesterday and she said I’ve found a you a bed. She then weighed me and I asked if I still had to go. Yes. I then asked again. Yes. And then said if I eat so I have to. Yes. Yes I have to go.
I’m hoping this place will help. I know I need firmer, somewhere I can’t sneak laxatives in and hide them so I can take them daily, somewhere that makes me go to the table and doesn’t give up just like tjat. I know I do. But I still don’t think I’m ill. I’m Fine to walk and skip meals. I feel fine. It’s hard. I think I’m well I don’t think I’m Ill but I know my eating won’t change without help and I recognise in some respects I need help.
So I’ve 4 days to go. Four days till I’m re-admitted. Last time I was admitted I didn’t eat before I went in. I’ve been told to not that again as i will knock myself back but it’s so hard. In my head I’m fine and fat so I need to starve myself and get myself as small as possible before I go in. But I will try to eat. I will try.
Hope your all ok and happy weekend guys x