Slowly going insane 

Today has been the worst day. I swear I’m getting worse mentally since I’ve been in here. The stuff I’m doing. The person I’m becoming. The things I’m thinking. Everything. 

I’m isolating myself completely. I just sit in the chair. Staring. Sleeping or crying. Then it’s meal time. Then it’s crying over meal time then it’s staring then it’s make to another meal time. I don’t get involved in anything. I just sit and stare. I don’t talk. To staff or patients. I’ve had a catch up today with staff. Told them I was fine. Patients ask how I am. I tell them I’m fine. I just want this to all be over with. 

I’m trying so hard but it doesn’t seem good enough. Nothing seems good enough. I’m tired. I’m tired of this. I’m tired of how this is effecting people. I’m tired. 

2 thoughts on “Slowly going insane 

  1. I found that eventually when I reached out, or rather responded when they reached out, I started feeling less alone. I completely understand wanting to isolate but there’s something to be said in not being alone during such a difficult struggle.

    Liked by 1 person

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