I hate it here. I hate it. It’s like I’m a kid in school but in prison. There so patronising I have no independence at all. I’ve sat all day long. I can’t even walk up the stairs to get my coat and shoes. It’s horrendous. I hate it. I’ve cried sitting in front of a milkshake for an hour, and or she juice for 20 minutes and cereal for 30 minutes. I hate it. I’m agitated over the next snack already already playing on my mind. They threatened to pick the glass up for me Earlier and feed me. I’m 27. Not 2!!!
I’m now sitting here feeling fat. Hating myself. Sweating. Feeling fat. Planning how to de fat. Laxatives, secret exercise. Anything. I hate this place. Tomorrow will be worse. I know it. I want to die. I want to not wake up. I’ve felt so weak all day. So patronised so child like. I hate it. I’m an adult. I don’t need mantras repeated, the table planned changed so I have two staff opposite me and everyone else on another table. That makes me feel worse. More child like than ever. I’ll be out soon. I will. I’ll walk out I’ll show them I’m fine