Preparing for the unknown 

How do you prepare for the unknown?So tomorrow I’m off to the unit for an assessment to see if I’m fit to fly and can hold off admission for a week or if I’m unfit to fly and have to be admitted tomorrow. Either way I’m being admitted. Tomorrow or next week. Even if I pass the assessment I’m being admitted and could stay there from tomorrow. It’s all ifs and but and a hell of a lot of I don’t knows. 

How much do i pack?

What do I pack?

How long will I be in for?

Do the supply things?

Do I need this or that? 

Are the people nice?

When can people visit me?

Will I be on my own?
I’m scared, still in shock, speechless almost, don’t know what to think or make of it all. I thought it was all just a threat. But it’s reality. I can’t do this on my own and I have no choice but to be admitted full time. How did it get this bad? Will it ever get better? I’m so sorry to everyone I’ve failed or let down. I really am. I’m so sorry I’m so weak. 
How do I spend my potential last night of independence? Can I hide my laxatives in my luggage? Can I just run around? Can I really do this? Question after question no answer after no answer 

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6 thoughts on “Preparing for the unknown 

  1. No body thinks your weak, in fact your strength is what makes me smile. Your never alone you will always have your family and me we all care so much and know you have it in you to beat ya just getting a little help along your journey. But remain positive and we will make the wedding we have the best 4days ever. Your making me everyone proud!!!!

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  2. Where are you going? I had no idea what to pack but they should give you a packing list and what you can/can’t have. The people at my residential were awesome and the staff was absolutely amazing! Good luck friend! Try to make the most of it!

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