Can’t even find the right word to title this 

I ate!! I ate, I ate. I actually ate! Omg I ate!!! 

Yep I ate. I actually ate proper food. The first in about 2 months. I ate. Proper food. I actually ate. I’m grinning from ear to ear. My dad hugged me, my mum clapped, my friends proud as punch, I made my brothers day, and I made Jamie cry with happiness. I’m so happy. 

I’m dreading the consequences this might have. Worried tomorrow will be 10 steps backwards. But right now I’m so proud of me. Don’t get me wrong I’m having to run around like a lunatic and keep busy so I don’t think about it but I ate food for the first time in forever. 

I cooked dinner tonight. Not for me but for others and I had a nibble and before I new it I had my own little bowl. And was picking at it. I ate. I can’t belive it. I actually can’t. 

I dint think I’ll sleep tonight and tomorrow will be horrendous but right now I’m more proud than annoyed. I don’t need hospital. I can do this. I just hope this is a step forward and not an open door to a staircase for me to spiral down. We will see. We will see. Yes I feel fat now. Yes my stomach is massive. And yes I’m annoyed. But I’m still more proud than anything. 

Ireland and my brothers wedding here I come!!!! 

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