Well today was a day and a half. Every time I think it can’t get worse it does. Every time I let myself think I’m making progress I realise I’m not.
Today was my first day as a day patient and it was a disaster. I turned up at 9 after a nerve racking taxi drive for my one to one worker not to even had time to Have familiarised herself with my case. She proceeded to get me breakfast. Which was porridge with 200mls of whole milks. We sat there. Me and here In a little room as I burst into tears over this bowl of porridge. She told me I had 30 mins to finish that and my drink. Bear in mind I haven’t eaten for 48 hours!! I couldn’t do it. I just sat and cried. She then warmed it up again after half an hour and put it back in front of me and said I had 15 mins before our meeting with the nurse specialist. I proceeded to cry and not eat any of it. She then took it away bought in the manager and told me it wasn’t going to work and to go home. After one meal. After one failed attempt at eating. They gAve up on me. I haven’t eaten for 48 hours and because I couldn’t eat my first meal they gave up on me. Sent me home (well made me make my own way home) and left me.
This makes me feel worse. They can’t even support me not even willing to try. They just gave up. After an hour. One hour. That’s not trying. If your a footballer and break your leg you don’t go straight back into a 90 minute game. You build up to it. I was told I’d be on little portions and gradually build up. I was told it would help. No. No it just made it worse. What now? What next?