Yep the laxative my best friend. I’m addicted. I can’t cope, can’t function, can’t live without it. It’s me.
I used to only take it if I’d eaten “properly” is say properly that could be salad for lunch and soup for dinner. But now I’ll take it regardless of what I’ve eaten or not eaten. It’s part of my day to day life. It’s habit.
So yesterday I had salad that was all I had all day. Until I went out and got drunk and got the nibbles. But then all I ate was the grilled chicken out of a kebab and the salad. None of the pita no chips nothing else. In fact I feed the pita and spat it out ( I do that a lot lately, Spit food out) so it’s not like I over ate it’s not like I had breakfast lunch dinner and a kebab. I had a salad and the grilled chicken and more salad. Yet I got in and took 2 laxatives. On top of the half I’d already taken!
Why! What am I doing to myself. I can’t stop my self. It’s habit. It’s my life. It’s my addiction. This thing this eating disorder is ruling my life. Is taking over. Is becoming me.