Insomnia sucks 

Yet another sleepless night, I’m sick of this. Sick of this tossing and turning and not sleeping, not switching off, the agitation, the thoughts, every sound driving me mad, I can hear my brain, hear my stomach hear everything!

I’ve never been so agitated it drives me mad, I let it win, I let it get to me but I can’t help it. I have a better relationship with 3am that my own family! I see more of it than I see them. Sleeping pills don’t work, they make me more tired the next day, I do the whole no technology thing, get up go back to bed thing. Nothing!!

My mind just doesn’t seem to stop. Ever. It’s always thinking of something and until it’s thought or done that thing it’s thinking it won’t stop! Then it’s the food. I’m going to bed most nights without dinner so wake up hungry. My stomach begging for food my brain going into overdrive obsessing over food and I have the devil and angel on my shoulders one telling me eat, yelling me to eat the other telling me off for even thinking about eating, whispering those words “you’ll get fat” telling me it’s the worse time to eat, don’t do it! You’ll regret it. Obviously the devil wins. Obviously I don’t eat. Obviously I can’t sleep, I’ll wake up again, hungry again. 

And most of might think it’s an easy solution just eat and you’ll sleep. But it’s not that easy. And even if and when I do eat I still don’t sleep! 

4 thoughts on “Insomnia sucks 

  1. Insomnia does suck- I really feel for you. I haven’t mastered it overcoming it either despite all the sleep hygiene stuff. The eating helps though, and you need to do it regularly for it to make a difference with sleeping (i.e. Everyday for a while) and before you can count it out as an effective strategy. Another thing worth trying is to write out or your thoughts during the night when you’re awake- although I hate doing this I’ll admit so I never do- but instead I say them out loud (now I’m single I can do this!), just in a list to myself, it hasn’t cured my insomnia by any means but I do think it helps me to get back to sleep sooner. If you have any other tips please share!

    Liked by 1 person

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