My way of getting g through life lately is to keep busy. Weather that be work or rushing around to and from the hospital visiting my Nan, or driving 2 hours after a long  shift to visit my grandparents. I just have to keep busy. But when it all stops. Like today. It bloody sucks. 

I’m so lonely it’s unbelievable. It’s a Saturday night and I’m sitting in my room. Where I always am. Drinking alone. As I have no one to be with. My friend is busy. My other friend is at work and my other “friend” just had a go at me. That’s it. There my options. My only options. There all busy and I’m left here like a loser. It’s not there fault. It’s mine. There’s clearly something so massively wrong with me that no one wants to be my friend. How can someone have a million friends and someone have 2 / 3 mates. One of them who ignores you all the time. What’s so wrong with me. Well I don’t know the answer but I hate myself so I don’t blame others for nOt liking me either. I’ll be a loner forever. Desperate for a friend. Pathetic isn’t it. That’s my life. Pathetic. Non existent. Might as well just be over. 

Happy Saturday everyone. 

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