3 o’clock 

That time again, the longest relationship I’ve had is with 3am. I see it everyday like clockwork. Alone with my thoughts. Just me and the darkness. Every thought multiplied, every thought constant and repetitive, determined to keep me awake until me brain hurts, until I get frustrated and stressed. 3am should be the time my brain switches off and I’m thoughtless for once. But no, the complete damn opposite! 

It’s been an odd week this week, not the best, I don’t feel like I’m making progress, I feel I’m just getting even more lost. Lost to the point of no return. I was asked today where I see myself in a years time, I laughed. I’ll still be here, nothing to show for myself, the failure of the family, the no hope girl still plodding and fighting through life, or maybe just maybe I’ll have plucked up the guts by then. I described myself today using a quote from a film, everyone I hear this it’s me, it describes me to a tee 

2 thoughts on “3 o’clock 

  1. Things must be extremely difficult but I would say, try to use positive language. It’s free, and negative language will only make you feel worse. Keep going and a year will be gone in no time. You will still be here and things will be similar.. but better.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s