So I stood on the scales today 

So everyone was weighing themselves at work today with the new scales. I hate weighing myself. Hate it. As if I’ve put on weight I’ll just want I lose it. But I took the plunge and did it!

So I’m 5″7 and should weigh around 8st 8 minimum to be classed as healthy. Instead I weigh 7st 3. I felt two things when I read this on the scales. My first thought was ‘yes, I haven’t put on weight’ but 2nd was ‘shit, that’s the lowest I’ve been’ 

Now I’ve gone and weighed myself and I know how little I weigh I’ve got myself in another whole. As if I eat I’ll put on weight. And although the doctor Says I need to. Weight gain is weight gain. And I’ll hate it. Then there’s the other  side of me and to see if I can lose more, not more as such but just not gain. 

I’ve never weighed that low but I still feel fat. I’m repulsed by my stomach! And I was so stressed today I had 3 chocolates which I’m now hating!!! 

I don’t know what to do, where to turn, how to get better and to top it all off today I realised just how much of a mug I am. But I’ll come to that another day. 

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