So my biggest struggle these past 2-3 days has been my food! I’m struggling with it loads and loads lately it just getting worse and worse and I can’t see a way out of it.
I’ve already lost loads of weight and have a (shhhhhh, it’s a bit a taboo subject) laxative problem. But it’s just taken over!
The other day I was so proud that I went 24 hours, well 23 hours without eating. And now I can do that and know I’m capable of that I try even more to eat less. Breakfast used to be an apple. Now it’s nothing. Lunch used to me salad and cereal bar. Now it’s salad (carrot and tomatoes) dinner used to be beans or soup. Now I try to skip dinner too.
But the thing is I feel so fat! Like the fattest I have ever been. I look at my stomach and I’m repulsed. It horrible. Yet I’m eating barely nothing. Maybe it’s the occasional sweet I have for energy or something.
And well I can’t remember the last time I didn’t take a little pill before bed time. But now my body has got so used to them they don’t work and I don’t go to the toilet (sorry for toilet talk) but then I get so stressed I don’t go, then I don’t eat as I haven’t been etc etc.
How can I beat this or even try to get over it. I don’t know how and it’s just getting worse!